It's February, the months are flying off the calendar like in a movie.
|The mantel with lights and snowflakes in silver|
|quote: "You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust,let go and see what happens" M. Hale|
It's winter and we're expecting more snow on Wednesday which gets in the way of my PT appt. Argh. We still have sheets of ice here despite today's temps being in the 50's F.
I am still sitting here typing at 9AM mountain time, in my cuddle duds pj's, drinking morning coffee.
I see the sun at an angle through the sliders. Milo didn't want to get up this morning and was afraid to go in the back yard. What will this day bring?
|dremel tool for toenails|
I have to decide whether to see another PT in the practice today, since my knee is so bad I can hardly handle stairs.
I must make myself return to the vet for Milo's check up and boosters... I've put it off a long time
I want to finish the cattail piece, so the top is nearly done and it is nearly ready to quilt
I want to start the Vday piece
I did laundry yesterday so DH could start the week with clean clothes. We scrubbed the hard water off the shower doors this weekend so I am left with mopping the wood floors today.
We groomed Milo yesterday, causing pain to both of us, and I still need to brush out those curls of hair on his legs into an aftro, and scissor them into a pretty shape. I have to finish plucking his ear hair, and grind his toenails, and brush /shape his ears. It's all a big job and must be done each month.
I have to take all the craft stuff up to studio 2 out of the living area
I have several posts write, put off from last week
Slowly looking through library books, and reading my tea house mystery at night. I've had a hard time focusing this week.
I discarded some books on disc as too boring to hold my interest but this one is terrific! I like the story about a Shakespeare book store owner and a murder, and the reader has a great accent.
I found the greatest show on Netflix! A comedian named Jack Whitehall took his hilarious father on a gap year around the would. The two of them made me laugh out loud many times during the episode. So you get to see unusual places and hear this hilarious running commentary between grown son and father.
I also loved the puppy bowl yesterday... my version of the superbowl.
And the cat bowl the day before.
We ordered a pizza last night, and dh picked it up. When we opened the box, it was covered in pepperoni's and I'm unable to eat red meat... argh. We picked them off but it left us with tummyaches. We called the place and they agreed to replace the pizza but we were a half hour away and it was now 9PM. They gave us credit which is good, but we were hungry and the evening meal was ruined for us. Just giving us a new pizza isn't really undoing the lack of care on their part.
We have had a lot of incidents like this since moving to Aurora. Workers are not being careful.
Making of Art
I am enjoying studio time a lot. I ordered an acrylic template to make lots of flowering snowball blocks this year, eventually making them into an actual bed quilt I hope. I can't show my cattail piece but I did a border of squares around it and it's so pretty...and close to the top being done.
My camera fell out of my coat pocket this weekend and cracked more but seems to still be working... yea! I dropped a heavy acrylic ruler and it didn't cut off my toe, again, yea!
Lessons learned and Inspiration
It was a hard week... not much got done, I felt alone and lonely, then a neighbor was very nasty and threatening to me. He was a bully, and left me more afraid and tired of being here. It took some thoughtful processing for days, as well as talking it over with three people, to deal with the feelings.
It's so like the current atmosphere, where people feel entitled to verbally attack others instead of being polite, keeping the peace, or if they must speak out, then saying it in a kind way. He could have handled his tirade a lot of ways that would have been kinder and more productive. He could have not said anything at all. He could have approached me with respect but he chose to be a bully.
I feel there are people who now feel entitled to be hateful, like it's okay to do now. They might not have been raised with the golden rule (do unto others as you'd have them do unto you) but I suspect it's an underlying current of people wanting everything there way, and not caring about or respecting a difference of opinion.
His verbal attack left me frightened and unsafe in my own neighborhood... unknown to him, his behavior made a ripple of sadness.
I read once, to thank the people who do wrong to you, as they give you a chance to learn. To define yourself and your boundaries, your thoughts and values. They give you a chance to practice your kindness and remind you to be yourself despite the onslaught of others who would steal your dignity.
There are times when I can rally easier than others, times when I am stronger than other times when meaness gets to me. Eventually, being a thoughtful person, I process these negative situations and learn from them, knowing how differently it could be if the other person came from a place of kindness and respect. Knowing that what I say makes a difference, learning to be respectful myself in each encounter. Learning the skill of letting go. Let go of the encounter, and let my fears flow away from me.
I have ptsd from a childhood of abuse, and think by now I have dealt with it all but still, buttons are pushed and I react. I am old enough now to know his ugliness has more to do with him than with me. It may cause an instant reaction but I can learn from the situation too. I know who I am, and how I want to treat others, how others should be treated.
I hear people all the time say they are just reacting to another person who "started it" but they have a choice too.
I listened to youtube concerts today with people spontaneously playing public pianos, and others gathering around, some even joining in. It reminded me of a trip to the Science museum here in Denver, when we were leaving at the end of the day, and heard piano music. A young man, about 20 ish, was playing the most heavenly music while his girlfriend sat on a wall. She'd no doubt heard him play often and seemed to want to go home.
I'm glad he didn't. His music transported me above daily life. Watching a young man be so into his music was uplifting. He had written the song, and said he couldn't remember a time when he didn't play piano. It gave me hope for the future. Today on youtube I saw a little boy at an airport piano, sit and play. Un-selfconsciously he offered his song. No one paid attention but he played.
He couldn't realize how much his behavior effected me seeing it online today.
What we say and do makes an impact.
Milo's Week ahead
|does this angle make my nose look big?|
I mean, look at the mess Mama made of my topknot!!! (ed. note: It's not finished yet...)
I was very disturbed seeing all my hair lying on the porch... I'm gonna freeze! And the sound of shaver and scissors is always nervewracking but the standing still part is the worst! I admit I also reek of soap smell... I want to get back to my more natural smell of pee and dirt this week. (editors note: Crikey. )
|Why yes, a forkful of eggs would help!|