The word prompt from Sunday's Whirlagig this week
among, clouds, fight, bring, loss, leave, crowds, delight, tumult, waste, breath, balance
She needed balance in her life. Balance between work and play, so
today was for play. The skies were that Autumn blue and cloudless! A
perfect contrast for the warm colors of turning leaves.
Oh but she loved Fall! The slight crispness to the air was
invigorating. She wanted to be outside, and feel the changes coming.
Changing seasons kept a person going, looking ahead, bringing the next
one, while still living in the present.
Humans were meant to live in this temperature she laughed, her breath creating slight swirls and clouds that blew away quickly. Imagine, seeing one's very breaths! Breaths are life, and clouds are like enormous breaths from God. Would an ant look up and make pictures out of the clouds her breath created???
It was easy to let go and be childlike today. Forget the tumult of work on her desk and just watch her breaths and the swirls they created.
She looked down at some early fallen leaves and noted the pattern they made on sidewalks. Nature would handle it. She could relax and delight in the changes. She wanted to leave behind all worries, to take a rest.
Just be. Imagine that there were no problems to be handled.
It was almost possible to forget ongoing fights among her family members, ones that she usually mediated. She knew Holidays magnified perceived hurts and losses, crowding out the possible joy of being together again. She wished she could fix it all, but, it was not for anyone one human to do. Despite all the expectations, she was only human.
Nope, she would not waste this day.
Balance required letting oneself enjoy what could be enjoyed. It was a choice in a way, to make sure one didn't go too far in one direction or another. She was always a serious child, wanting to do the right things, and now she was a serious adult. She still wanted to do the right things, but now she was finding herself stressed each day. She woke thinking of the actions she must take, and went to bed with the list for the next day on her mind.
There was no balance, she lived on obligation street.
Her family expected so much from her as she had always given so much. Now she was the go-to person at work, the fixer of problems.
Today she wanted to try to be someone else, a person who was able to put down a suitcase of problems and just watch her breath swirling in the brisk air.
Could a person just decide to be different? Must they change their name and residence, or wait for the next life? Was it possible to fix herself like she fixed problems at work?
She chose to see this lovely day using all her senses. As she walked toward the Leaf Festival area, she saw crowds of people, and smelled the scent of roasting chestnuts as she peeled one and popped it in her mouth tasting the sweetness. Concentrate she thought, and she saw a tiny bit of shell- paper stuck to part of the chestnut. It was warm, and fragrant in her hand, and she ate the paper too hearing a slight crunch as she chewed. Really taste it, she thought.
Really feel life the way it is in this moment.
She felt a brisk breeze on her face, and heard laughter of others. There were parents gathered near a group of running children, the parents all with a mug of hot cider in their hands. Their laughter mingled with the kid's delight, and the sound of crows in the distance. Listen.
She bent to pick up a leaf. She touched the crisp leaf in her hand, noting the brilliant color it displayed even as its time on that tree was done. It lived a life fully, and went in a blaze of glory, reminding her to enjoy each stage of her life. She thought more of how she would define herself, and how she could change if she wanted. She wondered if her family and co-workers would accept the changes and how much that mattered.
Funny that Autumn with it's sense of closing down for the season, should make her want to start up a new direction. Timing was important, and she decided not to waste this time on Earth by choosing to please others more than herself. Balance was important here too. She would start to see her own needs as important as those who depended on her.
She needed peace, and laughter. She wondered what might happen if she approached the group of parents her age, but they were in a different place that she was. Would they see her in the new way she now saw herself? Then she spied a man throwing a stick for his golden... he glanced up at her and seemed to know her.
He slowly smiled, and began to walk toward her. She felt the breeze on her face again, noted the blue skies full of promise, and she held out a warm chestnut to him.