Sunday, December 8, 2024

creativity a bit of sewing, a bit of paint

 

Even when going through grief, one wants to make art. I am slowly working on my Moravian star in fabric

the little star units are lying on my portable design surface. (cardboard / batting/ felt ) with a sand paper bottom. This tutorial said to make 12 star units of 5 petals. See the little diamonds on the bottom right. 
moving anticlockwise up here are the 5 sewn together.  
moving anticlockwise to the left top the five are sewn into a cupped star shape
and the bottom left is two sewn together (wrong sides tog) with a third to be sewn in

I'm not sure of the tutorial, it doesn't show where they are all joined into a big shape so I'm stuck

I painted a wee house, and that's about it this week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UowBhx-IeqY

4X 6" or so, a mix of pencil watercolor-pencils (prismacolor) and water color paint with ink on top

 


Maybe I'll feel like making more next week in between doctor's appts. Not sleeping well at all. 
hope all reading this are finding more creative time than I did, but we know it comes and goes even when the artist shows up in studio to do the work. 

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Thursday, December 5, 2024

I Like Thursday # 429 trees, quilts, yummy food

 

table runner made with cute Christmas scraps


Prompt this week is: Real Christmas tree or artificial

we went to an artificial tree years ago when Cole, Dh and I all had allergy attacks after bringing in a real tree. Now in Colorado we have a tall one that just lives in the family room all year, decorated for the seasons sometimes. I love how real it looks. 

And, after all it's a "real artificial" tree, you can touch it, heehee. 


Milo used to roam around the presents as they were added to the base but too polite to open them til time. He was often overwhelmed by too many choices so we learned to give him one a day. Being a loyal poodle, he tried to divide his time up among the new and old toys, God Bless him. 




One like is in Milo's honor

One of my likes this week is a squirrel. I can't believe it but on our last walk around the back yard, this squirrel came out to say hi to Milo and I. I said shoo! but it came 5 steps closer, stood up and had the most earnest look on it's little face, hands held in front, looking me in the eyes, and then at Milo too ill to chase it. I waved my arms and it reluctantly went back to the one big tree in our yard, 

Well this week miss squirrel came right up on the back porch and looked in. She seemed to think there was a tasty snack for her, and came closer and closer to the back door as I cooed at her. When she bit into the towels we cover mums with at night, I said NO! She stopped and turned to me, moving to the next one waiting to see if that one too was off limits. NO! She stopped, and sort of squirrel shrugged and came back to the door standing up, holding her wee hands in front and looking up at the two of us. 

We do put parings and peels under that big tree for bunnies or squirrels now and then but it's in the back of the yard. maybe they watch us do that and know us as the "givers of good food" 

 Then we looked out and another young squirrel was with her! Two too much! 

I liked the connection we seemed to share, the eye contact and lack of fear. 

art project



I'm trying something new. An english paper pieced (EPP) moravian star in fabric, the tutorial is 

HERE

a bit tedious and small.... perfect for me needing to just see fabric stitched to fabric right now

Fine dining

We roasted a butternut squash, and this time tried roasting the seeds. I coated them in cinnamon sugar.

Well, they got carmalyzed and came out just a little burnt tasting but we ate them of course. 

we love spaghetti meat (turkey) sauce and lots of veggies. We like to make a lasagna with half the sauce to enjoy later in the week
dinner plate with side plate on top, bowl, small bowl and smaller bowl

Tradition

I got out my Christmas dishes again, my favorite ritual. I love them and love using them. I've looked to see if I can find a set like them to use all the time as they are the right size, weight, and I just love the cutlery shape and size/weight too. Nope, nada. 

It feels odd and somehow wrong to decorate as if nothing happened when I'm grieving Milo so much. 

We are not joyful but we're doing what one can do, keep moving, one foot in front of the other, and trying to distract ourselves. We know better than to think it will be a joyful Christmas  this year but time is relentless and demands that we fill it. I think I now understand cancer hits all ages, and is devastating to all creatures. 

if you ever want to make a difference, consider donations to research. Researchers in canine cancer just discovered the floride in drinking water is causing bladder cancer in dogs. We had just a year ago started giving Milo filtered water, too little too late. 

mommy loves you my beautiful boy, forever

a friend wrote this in response to my grief... it's a lovely gift to give me (thank you Helen)
I hear you.
I'm listening.
I'm sad with you.
I can't "do" anything, but I hear you.

please visit these folks to see what they liked this week, and let me know to add you in if you write a post too

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Saturday, November 30, 2024

a little bit of creativity and gift ideas for artists, and one for quilters

 

the feathered star block for RSC this year. I chose Gold as my 11th color block

this is gold next to yellow to see the difference. I love these bold blocks and they should make a great 12 block quilt. Borders will be another matter

the block is paper pieced and an 8 inch segment is difficult to maneuver under the machine and put together each block finishes at 16". I leave most paper on for stability til all are joined. Soon. 
Then the picking out of all those little papers. 
as I mad each feather, I cut away fabric waste and put those little scraps into this "sun"

last week I tried to do the lessons of Zen Stitch workshops... all were awesome this time but my grief from the loss of my 7 year old poodle son Milo interrupted my thinking. 
At least the workshops were there to be viewed and took me out of my grief for a time. 
I copied some of the patterns to possibly try later. 

If you've survived the loss of one so beloved, how did you cope with creative time? 

for my fellow painting/drawing/art friends, this video listed many items I would like to receive this year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5osSC9nXKA

and for quilters, here's a gift lift with lots of ideas to give your family, or for your friend's
link if video doesn't work
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Thursday, November 28, 2024

I Like Thursday # 428 grateful for you

 




can it be I survived heartbreak a whole week, and it's time to share my gratitude and likes? 

 this is a quilt I made a couple years ago... I am happy I have it to put up this Thanksgiving 


I've been stumbling around not really here because here is a sad place mostly. I'm still in shock that my beautiful boy is gone, and life is just going on around me. 

After pinching the spent blossoms off, my mums had a new bloom but I've not been able to stand on the porch to see them much. 

 We held a ceremony for Milo on Sunday, at the one week point since we got back his ashes. All we have now is a pawprint impression, some of his incredibly soft curls of hair, his beloved chicken, his sweater all gathered together in the house in his crate that he loved too. 

 I cannot express how much your comments, emails, cards and phone calls have meant to me.

 I appreciate all of you so much. 

This little quote says so much too...


I received this beautiful portrait of Milo made by Ingrid



and this one by Terry from Brian's home
a beautiful comment by John Bellum led me to his lovely blog and this post... I had to copy the poem to keep by me through this. "now that I am old" gives me a kind of meaning for my own life. Please go read this...

Julie at her blog: https://jellyjules.com/  told the story of her beloved Keeshound Mulder and reading her words of feelings and what happened, soothed my guilt, let me know she truly understands, read the posts on "dogs" They did catch the cancer early and went through long treatments and it came back a few months later anyway. Love you Julie. Now I also love Mulder. 

Mary C. shared the current issues with her beloved dog, and what we all live with as we age and I was connected again, less lonely. 

Diane in Texas has been a friend who shared  tears and grief with me by phone and I am so grateful. 

All of you have shared my grief and I am grateful and re read the comments often, so if you wonder if your comments are meaningful, they are. I'm sorry I can't quote all of you right now but you are loved. 


we must go in and out this door for two person walks. Life seems so empty yet it goes on with it's demands. It's all about finding meaning in the day. I know grief has a lifecycle, and I go up and down the stages. 


Please understand I am still eating though nothing tastes good, still reading though I forget the words and have to re- read and re-re-read them. I watch TV and can't focus, sew because a person must do something. I wonder if it's okay to be so honest here but why stop now? 
I like the Macy's Thanksgiving parade on TV... after all.
I promise to return with likes, when I can feel them again. 

Although there is no Thanksgiving here this year, there is  some bit of hope because it truly is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. 

This video made me smile out loud... I love puppies



please visit these folks to see their likes this week
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Thursday, November 21, 2024

I Like Thursday # 427 saying goodbye


 



this song says so much...  (I would give everything I own to have you back)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlOwOFJJ-RI


My beautiful boy... is gone. 
we took him to the ER Vet last Friday hoping for an iv and some meds.
 It all happened so quickly and I'm still in shock. just two weeks ago he was still playing running and eating.

We had tried to entice him to eat  but he wouldn't even lick almond butter off a pill. He drank bowls and bowls of water and it poured out of him.  


 The ERvet said he was not processing his water, so he was dehydrated. Then the sonogram  showed prostate cancer that had spread to bladder and small intestine and maybe his leg,  causing the limp that developed one week earlier.
 It was a very aggressive cancer in dogs, you can't do surgery, and chemo and radiation might buy you 3-6 months before it returns after treatment.  He had three obvious tumors in three organs, one was pushing on his urethra so his bladder might burst at any moment.

he continued to refuse all food even beef broth on our fingers. We brought him home for one more night.  he's just 7 I said. Don't take him from me. 
 
He had lost 14 lbs out of 70,mostly in the last two weeks.  
Saturday afternoon, the mobile vet to administer the euthanasia on the back porch, we knew what we must do but were still in disbelief. 
 he died Sat afternoon , leaving me without my comfort and soul companion, taking all joy from the house. I have to live with the guilt of not catching it sooner although all reports say it wouldn't matter for life expectancy. No good treatment here

he was only 7, I expected him to live to 14. Less than 24 hours after finding out he had cancer he was  gone. Now it's just cleaning up, throwing out the bedding he peed on the last 5 days, throwing out medicine, toys food and looking at the Christmas toys I bought to give this year.

it's empty in our home now.

I researched cancer in dogs and saw a recent finding (May 2024) was to stop giving tap water to dogs and cats. The fluoride is causing bladder cancer.  We gave him filtered water the last year or so not even knowing the findings.   

my chiropractor said, (I had to go in this week from lifting him so much),

 I must try to be grateful for having him the last 7 years, and no time is long enough with those you love

I'm trying. 
I'm grateful I had the last night and he didn't die at the ER. I'm grateful for the hour we spent on the couch together the last day. I'm grateful for that final walk through the neighborhood and Milo pulled ahead a bit, sniffing.

he cannot be replaced, he was the smart and perceptive, the funniest, the most protective to the end (our last walk he warned me someone was coming up behind us) the cuddliest, the kindest, and best for me. I cry all the time. 

I hope to write his stories. I hope to write some memories here of his antics, we've been remembering his stories the last 5 days since the unbelievable happened. I want to honor him. 

He used to know when it was time to remove baked goods from the oven, come to stand next to me in the kitchen, if daddy came over Milo quietly stepped in front of the daddy and looked up at me. 
" do I get a piece?"  He loved his cookies!

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Thursday, November 14, 2024

I ike Thursday # 426

 

I won't mislead you, I have very little gratitude in my heart, it's been replaced by despondency for my country. I will try to share some of the week with you, I need companionship, I feel frightened all the time. 

We got two snow alerts that came to nothing. The third was for 3" and the surprise was it lasted 4 days leaving totals here near the 20" mark, or with a bit of melt, half a standard poodle high. 

DH shoveled a path for the poor boy who is not able to step on his left back leg. Then two hours later there is 3-4" in the path. Out he went to shovel that off. Why couldn't the weather people warn us this would be a 4 day event with feet of snow? 

I couldn't focus, so I turned to medicinal sewing... two pre cut packs (bought on sale.) For the non sewing people here, that means a designer's line of fabric is cut into 5" squares with about 42 in the pack. I had two of this line and just started arranging them on the design wall

I wanted to just sew squares into groups then rows then a top. I have now finished the top with a black multi colored border fabric and am layering that with backing fabric and cotton batting and plan to quilt it simply. It's my mourning quilt and I don't like it much. I will finish it and use it to huddle under. It's about 44" X 56" now. It reminds me in looks of my granny's utility quilts so I wrote a story about my connection to her, read it here


I watch a tv show called crime scene kitchen. Couples compete to see who comes closest to figuring out the clues to the item baked, then bake their own. I looked at our counter as we finished up baking this week... know what we made? clue that's cinnamon sugar in the measuring cup, a buttered loaf pan, bowl of cream, rolling pin and mat coated in flour. 
(cinnamon bread loaf)

I tried to make tortillas with sweet potatoes and lentil flour... big fail so I actually threw them away
I never throw away food if I can help it but they were bitter. I can't take bitter at the moment.

what is your favorite Fall movie? I need diversions.... 
I love "when Harry met Sally" and there is a lot of Fall footage in it


Milo is very very poorly.
 We gave him the rimadyl (antiinflammatory) for 2 1/2 days and he stopped drinking. Nothing could persuade him to drink, I tried pouring teaspoons of water in his mouth and he turned his head. He ate very little. 
We stopped the pills but not before he developed a urinary tract infection, so he's on antibiotics. He wont eat anything even cookies. 
The vet ordered nausea pills and heavy pain meds today.  He began drinking again which means he pours out urine wherever he lies, and goes out to pee 10 drops 10 times about every 2 hours. 
I'm worn out of washing our bedding despite diapers, and it's been three days on antibiotics. 
our traveling vet said we have to go to some brick and morter vet office for sonograms and diagnosis. 

Our family unit is the three of us, I despair of losing Milo. 

just to keep it Thursday, I like my poodle son, I love him. 

Lovely

this artist sings so beautifully, and I have sung this song countless times in my life... she shares my name too altho spelled differently. It made me cry for the times I believed in my country as so secure. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyRMD0ZXW68 

Videos of interest

broccoli cheese soup with cannoli beans

https://scratchmadefoodforhungrypeople.blogspot.com/2020/07/broccoli-or-any-vegetable-and-cheddar.html 

made it and it was good


Make art with Christmas cookies? 

I will not go to these extremes but it was VERY fun to watch and I see using some techniques in a more simple way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9BQ0KzlwYU 

just sayin'

interesting that republicans have argued for the last 5 or so years that the voting system was broken... til suddenly when they "won" they immediately shut up about it. He said he didn't need votes to win. 15 million votes have disappeared, how would a Harris voter know if their vote was counted or made to disappear like he promised when he said he had people in place to remove votes. Le Petit Roi. 


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