Thursday, November 21, 2024

I Like Thursday # 427 saying goodbye


 



this song says so much...  (I would give everything I own to have you back)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlOwOFJJ-RI


My beautiful boy... is gone. 
we took him to the ER Vet last Friday hoping for an iv and some meds.
 It all happened so quickly and I'm still in shock. just two weeks ago he was still playing running and eating.

We had tried to entice him to eat  but he wouldn't even lick almond butter off a pill. He drank bowls and bowls of water and it poured out of him.  


 The ERvet said he was not processing his water, so he was dehydrated. Then the sonogram  showed prostate cancer that had spread to bladder and small intestine and maybe his leg,  causing the limp that developed one week earlier.
 It was a very aggressive cancer in dogs, you can't do surgery, and chemo and radiation might buy you 3-6 months before it returns after treatment.  He had three obvious tumors in three organs, one was pushing on his urethra so his bladder might burst at any moment.

he continued to refuse all food even beef broth on our fingers. We brought him home for one more night.  he's just 7 I said. Don't take him from me. 
 
He had lost 14 lbs out of 70,mostly in the last two weeks.  
Saturday afternoon, the mobile vet to administer the euthanasia on the back porch, we knew what we must do but were still in disbelief. 
 he died Sat afternoon , leaving me without my comfort and soul companion, taking all joy from the house. I have to live with the guilt of not catching it sooner although all reports say it wouldn't matter for life expectancy. No good treatment here

he was only 7, I expected him to live to 14. Less than 24 hours after finding out he had cancer he was  gone. Now it's just cleaning up, throwing out the bedding he peed on the last 5 days, throwing out medicine, toys food and looking at the Christmas toys I bought to give this year.

it's empty in our home now.

I researched cancer in dogs and saw a recent finding (May 2024) was to stop giving tap water to dogs and cats. The fluoride is causing bladder cancer.  We gave him filtered water the last year or so not even knowing the findings.   

my chiropractor said, (I had to go in this week from lifting him so much),

 I must try to be grateful for having him the last 7 years, and no time is long enough with those you love

I'm trying. 
I'm grateful I had the last night and he didn't die at the ER. I'm grateful for the hour we spent on the couch together the last day. I'm grateful for that final walk through the neighborhood and Milo pulled ahead a bit, sniffing.

he cannot be replaced, he was the smart and perceptive, the funniest, the most protective to the end (our last walk he warned me someone was coming up behind us) the cuddliest, the kindest, and best for me. I cry all the time. 

I hope to write his stories. I hope to write some memories here of his antics, we've been remembering his stories the last 5 days since the unbelievable happened. I want to honor him. 

He used to know when it was time to remove baked goods from the oven, come to stand next to me in the kitchen, if daddy came over Milo quietly stepped in front of the daddy and looked up at me. 
" do I get a piece?"  He loved his cookies!

21 comments:

Gabi said...

Oh LeeAnna I am so sorry for you! I'm sitting here crying with you.

Duke said...

My heart breaks for you, LeeAnna and for your husband too. I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Milo♥

Kathy said...

My heart aches for your loss. Such a shock. You loved him to the moon and back and he loved you as much. Weep for the loss and live for the love.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

So sorry to hear this sad news, LeeAnna. What a special dog Milo was, a real bright spot to have around. My condolences -- may you be comforted by the many happy memories you have of him.

easyweimaraner said...

no... we cry so hard... no words, just tears and tears for your wonderful boy...

Brian's Home Blog said...

I sure wasn't expecting to see this today and I know you weren't expecting it either. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your precious Milo. All losses are horrible but the unexpected loss of someone so dear is just crushing. Milo was so special, we could feel that from afar. Love and hugs from all of us.

jmj said...

I’m so sorry. What a loss. He was a lovely doggie. Thanks for sharing him with us. Sending hugs

Shannon said...

Oh LeeAnna, I'm so so sorry. This is just heartbreaking. All the love to you and DH. I loved watching Milo's adventures through your posts.

LIttle Penguin Quilts said...

I'm so sorry, LeeAnna. Milo was a beautiful soul, and I always loved your stories about him on the blog. So glad I got to meet him and pet him a few times. Take care, and know that we are all out here sending our love to you.

Susie H said...

It is never easy to say good-bye to our pets whether we know way in advance or it comes suddenly. I am so sorry as I know you haven't been feeling well lately. Milo had a wonderful life and he knew how much you loved him. He appreciated every minute with you whether walking or cuddling. I don't know what else to say to you because I know how I'd be feeling (have felt before) but I wish you peace & comfort.

Sara said...

I’m so sorry to hear this. He had a wonderful life with you. We never get enough time with them.

Helen said...

Thinking of you this day.

Sandy said...

So sorry for you and your hubby. It's never easy. Our pets are a big part of our lives. ((HUGS)) Take care of each other.
Sandy's Space

Cloudia said...

We are all shedding tears with you today. I loved Milo and I love you

Linda said...

I am so sorry- I feel sick. I feel like I know you, I have read your blog for so long. And you have given me a love for standard size poodles through your sharing of your dogs. I look forward to your sharing each week. Don’t give up, LeeAnna. I have never had a conversation with you but I know you are very special.

Brian's Home Blog said...

We are thankful that Milo had you in his life. Thanks for joining Angel Brian's Thankful Thursday Blog Hop. I sent you an email.

My Mind's Eye said...

I am so very sorry to read about your Milo's passing.
What a handsome boy he was....Just reading about him I could tell he lived and loved every moment of every day to the fullest.
Hugs Cecilia

Angela said...

Oh, LeeAnna I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you.

Rosemary Dickinson said...

I'm so sorry, LeeAnna. I wish I could give you a hug. Milo was so loved. Take care.

Zoolatry said...

May your beautiful boy now rest easy, and may you always find only joy in the memories of your time together. Blessings to you and yours.

catladymac said...

We are so sorry for the loss of sweet Milo. We hope that in time t he memories will drive away some of the pain.