together Tuesdays

We actually left our neighborhood last weekend.

cool sculpture and outdoor chandelier

Around here, the snow turns quickly to ice, and creates danger zones on roads, so I prefer to stay home rather than join 100-car pile-ups.
that said, last weekend brought a thaw, and we three got in the car and drove to our favorite place to walk... Washington Park in Denver.

Milo and Daddy walking around

160 acres of pretty, plus a neighborhood of stunning homes all around it. Peace and interesting sites, quiet and families playing, dogs and children and old buildings, water, croquet courts, basketball and volleyball and small lakes.

when did you ever see a dog cart???

two encounters made an impression on me
1. a 70 year old woman came out her front door as we were looking at her house's architecture. I asked if it was built in the 20's as the surrounding homes looked like that time period more than the 1910's we left a block away. She said, "it's old"

that started a roller coaster of conversation, and led to a short tour of her front rooms inside. I learned:

her mom loved old houses and garage sales long before they were trendy. Her mom gave her Dad an ultimatum, buy me an old house or get a divorce. I don't know if she was joking or not but soon after the purchase they divorced anyway.
This older woman inheireted the old house (which couldn't have been too old when they moved in, possibly starting the divorce proceedings)  with her brother when their mother died. It had one owner before them, and it was now in a dismal state of disrepair.

She was told by an agent she could likely sell it for $900,000. People were buying in her area and tearing homes down.
NO!!!!!
so she basically grew up in this house, and was doing no repairs. She said she was sad to think of someone changing it, but she'd be gone so that was fine. As only someone who is in the winter of life who has survived two strokes can be, she was resigned and almost cheerful to it.
She insisted I come in and see the front room. Heavenly for me! Just standing on the curved porch and looking out allowed me to imagine how it once looked and how it would feel to belong in this nice neighborhood of gracious homes.
It so reminded me of the home I grew up in, built a decade before this one was. Ahhhh I stood and looked past the piles of boxes and dusty stuff, a hoarder's home, to the chandelier, the elaborate woodwork, the built in window seats and layout.
Suddenly she became quiet and whispered that we should not let her brother know she brought someone else in.... so we crept out the old wooden door with the glass in the top, to the delapidated wood porch and looked out across the tree lined street.
yes I could imagine living here.
She was a right chatterbox and jumped from topic to topic, and I was gleefully along for the ride!
What a window into someone's life after walking up and down the streets looking at homes from the sidewalk.
She abruptly had to go, as her neighbor drove up with a little boy this older woman just HAD to talk to.

2. walking into the park, we saw the lovely space filled with happy people biking, walking dogs, playing ball, chasing their kids, or sitting quietly. We joined them for a walk around the perimeter and Milo got to interact with several dogs.

A woman approached with what I mistook for a Viszla and I asked. No it's a mix, but our two dogs began to do the dog meeting ritual, the dance end to end with noses twitching and shy glances toward each other. Then as one, they broke apart and visited each other's persons (us).
As happens in the doggie world, the people began to chat.
This young woman is a transplant from Texas, living with her sister renting here in the neighborhood I love.
As only young people can, she knew everything and had every answer. She hasn't lived long enough to realize there is a need for compromise, adjustment in expectation, and accomodation of others.
It was fun for me to talk to her, and hear a point of view so different from mine.

She shared her strong opinions, as if they were truths. She does not like people who are quirky or living lives other than hers. She longs to leave the "weirdness" of Denver, the really weirdness of  Boulder and Ft Collins (all places I'm drawn to as I like people being themselves and a bit different) and move to WY.

Go on, I say! Find your place where everyone is just like you! Wherever that is!
We found common ground in dog love. She told me all about dogs she grew up with. She told me about this dog that wakes her in the night, jumping into her bed to spoon.
"he likes to be the big spoon against my back, wrapping his legs over me. But he stinks"
He sure did, and just after this comment, he tried to, ahem, "hug" Milo who said, knock that off!

Before we parted ways she said something I kind of related to, that being middle class was so hard as the poorest might have support and the richest have their money, but it's hard to be in the middle. I suggested since she is young, she find some answers for all, as we are only as safe and happy as our weakest citizens.

She looked a bit perplexed but smiled and said goodbye

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together Tuesdays

Longmont CO

welcome to together tuesdays, where I tell you of connections I made last week.

Longmont CO

I made three memorable connections last Saturday, more nice interactions than that but three that stuck with me and made my heart swell.

 We three decided to drive up and retrieve my lunch bag I left at the quilt store when I met Mary in a town called Erie. (It held an important ice pack) If you remember, I wanted to join a friend group there but it's too expensive. I asked about this high price and found out they have other cheaper or free friend groups also meeting there. One is handwork too! Okay then!

1. Since we were going that far north, I called our friends Diann and Mike to meet for lunch. They were free and drove down to meet us in a midway town named Longmont.
Ahhhhh seeing them is like doing a dance you know well, like hearing a happy song, like putting on a soft sweater. It's easy and comfortable. Conversation is smart and lively, and they are so nice to Milo.
We enjoyed catching up a bit, the day's sunshine before the next storm, and a good meal.


After lunch we wondered what to do. We thought we had seen the town of Longmont, but Diann said there was a wonderful section of original homes to walk around. Hmmmm my goal was to see some area I hadn't seen, but no towns nearby interested us.
We found the more active part of downtown Longmont that we missed last time, and walked around there for a bit, shopping at a cool shoe store.
No shoes but I had an interesting chat with two ladies, both had beloved dogs and loved Milo in his freshly bathed and groomed haircut.

2. We walked around Roosevelt Park, built by a woman who moved to Longmont when it started in 1860's

for some reason she's shown as a giraffe???

She loved it enough to finanace a park, and went there to hear a speech by Theodore Roosevelt! It was a nice size, open with a pool and skating rink, and half mile path around.

bronze embedded in rock in honor of the donor

 I stopped to look at an odd sculpture, as a smiling woman was taking a picture of it. We began to chat. She was visiting the town with her husband who was working, and they live in the upper peninsula of Michigan. As it turned out we had so much in common!
We are both artists
we both paint and work with fabric
There were other excited moments where we said, "so do I!!"
We probably could have happily visited each other's studios if we lived in the same town.
Isn't that amazing? And we shared our artwork from our phones. Her quilts were lovely, long and narrow, vegetables made with long roots, very brilliant colors. She paints them on fabric with colored pencil and oil pastels.
The 15 minutes we talked was like fuel to my soul.... a quick ephemeral meeting. Another one of those meetings that felt like I was meant to meet her and hear her wisdom.

She told me to consider that I'm meant to write and illustrate books.

3. Buoyed by these lovely interactions, we then set off to walk around the old homes.
I felt such an attraction to the neighborhood. Lovely old sidewalks of slate, wide lawns between streets and sidewalks, lovely porches, great views of the mountains. Architecture from Victorian to Edwardian, my favorites for this country.

We walked all around but as dusk approached, and we had an hour's drive home, we began to reluctantly head back to the car. Home lights glowed yellow as people settled in for the night.

Stunned by a magnificent sunset we stopped to take pictures. I felt such an affinity for this area, so like where I grew up, so lovely that I was reluctant to leave.
Turning back to the car, I spied two women and a mini aussie on their porch swing.

We all exclaimed over the mild temps and that sunset. They put the dog in the house and happily came over, arms outstretched to shake hands, and introduced themselves. A woman and her daughter, who lived in many places but now own this house, built in 1891,  with one owner who kept it as it was and left it to the historic society. The current owner bought it from the society and has been slowly repairing it to original shape.
She was a bright light in the evening... happy and sunny. Her dog was a service dog for her daughter who had seizures, and therefore not as stranger friendly as other dogs.
(you never know what people are dealing with do you?)
I loved this woman from the first moment she reached out her hand to me and smiled.
I loved her bright  happy daughter who was so open and friendly.
We all chatted about moving around, settling in an area, what it's like to rehab an old home. She loves antiques and old architecture, she grew up in England and suggested the show Grand Design, she makes the trek down to our area regularly to the children's hospital for her daughter.
She said she loves her neighborhood but when a house does go on market there is a crazy bidding war and prices are very high. She said if we ever come back to visit or buy, to make sure to stop in for another chat.

She also shared a bit of wisdom. She said to take heart, to use the next few years to go through our belongings and find the next place to move, not to mire down in the discontent of having moved where we did.

I felt like we parted as old friends.
You can't ask more of a meeting than that can you?

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together tuesday people who make an impact

light up your world

I had a couple of really nice encounters last week and only a few disagreeable encounters.
That makes for a net sum good week.

I listened to this TED talk from a man who did a LONG longitudinal study on the happiness of a group of men over 70 plus years. It's worth hearing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI


I began thinking about my life and what do I want from it now. Big thoughts. After all I could continue hiding, putting my head in the sand and wringing my hands of a lack of feeling safe in today's world. Just watch an old movie and sew, and believe me, I do that happily most days.

I began to remember who made an impact on my life in a good way. It was not a person rich in gold, or famous to thousands. It was not someone who boasted they were the best because they were humble and had a tremendous impact because of their actions.

I called her Tatee
Myrtle came to work for my mother when I was a baby. My mother saw her as the maid of all work and spoke of her in derogatory ignorant terms much of the time.

I saw her as the shiniest human in my world.
Tatee quietly loved and raised me to be a good human being. She taught me that I was lovable. She taught me about unconditional love while teaching me manners. Every day after school she asked to teach her what I learned that day, standing next to her while she ironed or washed dishes.
She  helped me feel safe in my unsafe family.
certain leaders would dismiss her as unacceptable because she was dark skinned, had little money, and didn't look like a model.

She was beautiful, her smile made me feel important and worthy. Her eyes told me I meant something to her. I wanted to make her happy.
I learned making others feel important is a very good quality to have in life, and that every person has a story that is interesting. I learned that wherever you are in life, do your best.

a sculptor
in my early 20's as I made my way down a career path and searched for romantic love, I met a fellow artist at a gathering.  He had a beaming smile, and was so centered in who he was that he had no need to prove one thing to any other person.
That made him very comfortable to be around.
Again, he was not powerful or rich, or famous, he was who he was unapologetically, talented, and gracious. I still do not know how he did it, but he made every person in the room stand a bit taller, feel like they had a lot to give, and were important.
When he turned to talk to you, he really heard you. For that instant, you were important enough for his total attention.
It didn't matter that it lasted 5 minutes, he left you with an inner glow to sustain the feeling as he moved on to "chat" with others.
I've forgotten his name, but can see his face in my mind and remember how I felt around him.

English teacher
I can count on one hand with fingers left over, the number of good school teachers I had.
One teacher, an English teacher in my senior year, stands out.
She was thin and wiry, expressive and real.
Real in a way that was different from every other teacher I'd known.
She treated us like people, seeing us as people not 30 students whose essays she had to grade.
Our class was special she said, she liked us. She liked us as people and we were as perfectly behaved for her as possible because we liked and respected her. She laughed with us, and encouraged us.
We were reading aloud a Shakespeare play one morning, and she walked around us as we read. She slowed at my desk, lifted my hand, observed the fingernails chewed down to nubs and said gently, "stop that"
I was dealing with an alcoholic and abusive father, an abusive mother, a lack of self esteem at school where I made straight A's, had friends,  but looked a bit chubby(which was decidedly not okay back then) . I slept each night behind a locked door. I lived in books and tv shows and marching band practice. I had no idea what I was doing after high school.

I stopped biting my nails and chewing on my cuticles though.

This woman let a mild curse word fall now and then, she drove a carmen ghia sports car, and had our class come to her home for a BBQ after we graduated.
I love words, and writing, and she showed me how to be unique and strong and myself and I cannot  remember her name but I remember how I felt in her presence.
And long after.

other people have changed the trajectory of my life too, and I might just tell you about them sometime. For now, I want to remember how to make other people fell included and important while I'm here on earth.
I hope it's enough.

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. 
Edith Wharton

Lovely version of  Imagine

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVAQl7qq-aI

together tuesdays

                         

I didn't have a lot of interesting meetings this week, sorry to say.
I am in mourning as my computer died. It had been showing signs of old age (as many of us do) but soldiered along. Then one morning, it  wouldn't wake up. It seemed to die peacefully in it's sleep after upgrading it. Oh I tried the usual resuscitation techniques, and it briefly lit up only to finally leave us.

This computer was bright red, and with me for a long time. We shared so much, it brought me to writing in the modern day as the keyboard was great for my hands. I am temporarily using my husband's computer but the configuration is all wrong. I have a very difficult time using the keyboard and need to constantly correct miss hit keys, and it makes my shoulders hurt. The hope is that my husband who saved the contents the day before actually saved the pictures and info I had stored there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have one, and to keep moving but I am in serious mourning as the newer laptops all have the keypad like my husbands.
Change is not always good.

1. Gloria and her son.
I met Gloria when we first moved into the neighborhood. Her black lab and Milo love each other, and I liked Gloria from the start. She is very busy however, so we don't see each other enough. She is a breath of fresh air here in this area. For the last two weeks I've been thinking of her a lot, then she called.
I think some people are mentally connected like that.
We got together yesterday at her home, and picked up conversation like we'd just been together instead of it being 6 months. Our lives are so different but we have a grand time sharing them.
I met her 17 year old son, and he was also a bright spot. Instead of being bored and sullen, he was funny and engaging and able to converse with us.
He recently got his driver's license and an older car. I told him I remembered getting my license on my 16th birthday, wanting intensely to be independent of my parents for even an hour, but having to use their car to do it. I felt exhilarated but also frightened to drive that big car alone, like, should I be driving by myself?
He said he feels the same way!
Across the age difference, across gender, across experience, we connected in shared feelings!

2. We finally went exploring a bit last weekend and drove up to the capitol of Wyoming, Cheyenne.

 It was like turning back time, and driving into a Western movie. I am sorry I can't rave about it, because it felt dead like some towns that used to thrive but fell on hard times. The brochure I was reading in the car, said "shopping galore!" and we found a downtown full of closed businesses, with floating trash and cigarette butts.
Apparently the town started in 1867 with the coming of a railroad stop, flashed to life with the cattle business, then 20 years later that fell apart with a blizzard that killed the cattle. All the mansions built with momentary riches fell into disrepair, and the townsfolk tore them down. The lovely historic tour brochure with it's many dots on streets and descriptions, were of places no longer there.

We started our trek at the train station, where there was a rally for women's rights. It was crowded with men and women, in the  nicely restored building. I  thanked the organizers for keeping the dream of equal rights alive. As I looked at a table of pamphlets a young man who might have been developmentally delayed asked loudly, "were you just on stage?
I replied no and smiled.
He snorted with a laugh, and said, well you LOOK like someone who was!A short connection but in that moment I felt something... I don't know what. Maybe I wish I'd been on stage.

The clerk in the gift shop for the station said she grew up in Cheyenne. She looked to be maybe 60-ish, wore very tight jeans, a western shirt, high stilletto heals, and a LOT of make up for 11 AM. She was friendly and talkative about her city when I asked what to see there, "You should come during Western days" she raved!

She said a couple of her many siblings moved away but most of them still lived here like she does, and she LOVES living here. 
after looking around a bit, we wanted to leave and drive the extra hour to Laramie as University towns usually have lots to see, but the road was closed due to snow and high winds.

The art dealer said winter was awful here. His shop was in the old doctor's house and office, for the railroad workers. While I was there it made a lot of noise startling me. He said it was built by drunken railroad workers so...
He had bronze statues out front that cost $120,000 ! I wondered who there would purchase such an expensive statue. Twice the cost of my first house.

We spent the day there, walking around, then went to the botanic gardens for a bit, and to a quilt store and I read up on it's history on the two hour drive home.The town was wild and dangerous when it began and still is one of the most dangerous places to live in the area.

3. the third interaction was with Onyx, Gloria's lab. I took her some rabbit treats as she injured her ACL and is not allowed to run. She is usually a bit wary of people, but she welcomed me and the bag of treats into her home.
 She shares the house with 4 cats, so I gave a treat to one cat who sniffed it. "Sniff..... Sniff.... Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniffsniff...." while Onyx watched. Suddenly mid-sniff, Onyx walked over and ate it. I laughed. Two other cats playfully took turns punching each other. I was kind of amazed that this household with 4 cats, one lab and some fish all lived in harmony.

together tuesdays

1. Milo here: I had a nice connection this week! Mama and I were having another uneventful walk, and I was sniffing every bush and trunk for my "pee mail" when I heard Mama say, look!
That always means something interesting is somewhere nearby.
I turned and there was the growly little white car I bark at! (mail truck) and...
the guy got out and walked by and put something at another house, then smiled at me on his way to the growly car. He stopped and I looked up up up (he's tall) and he smiled at me and reached out his hand. I looked and looked, then danced around, hopping from one place to another, laughing and touching his hand, then darting away. Game was on! Don't let the guy touch you while you touch him with your nose! He was fun but had to go too soon.

2. When we moved into this house, another family 4 houses down moved in their house the same day. They invited us over for 4th of July party, and we really liked them. When we ran into her over the holidays she said a couple of neighbors next to her were meeting up at the Tavern and would we like to come? I said yes! She texted us the time and day.
when the evening came, dark and very cold, we questioned going. I said, lets go for a while at least.
There were four couples and all very nice and fun, well traveled and kind. It felt very nice to be included and we all decided the next outing of our little group should be comedy  night.
We long to be part of a group like this, so fingers crossed it will continue.

3. This weekend we took it easy, starting with a garden lecture on xeriscaping. Milo loves going here, so he was highly disappointed when we just sat and stared at a man talking.
Milo: what the fizzy happened to my peeps? Usually they don't just sit and stare except at night at the "talky-talk" (TV) I entertained myself with a little boy, then chewed the lid off the water bottle, then had to actually jump up on Mama to walk around and sniff stuff. I wanted to look through the dog stuff, and found a great ball with the loudest speaker ever! Funny though, when I started squeaking it, all the people turned to see me which was great as Mama rushed me out of the area and we walked around which was much more fun than staring.

LeeAnna here, Milo was a magnet for people that day. One little boy who looked like he much preferred running around with Milo, reached for him, smiling a tentative smile, turning into a grin as Milo leaned on him. I could tell the boy really wanted a dog, but his dad said, "be still" He longingly looked at Milo the rest of the time, petting him when Milo came close. I was reminded that people will open up to dogs even when other people frighten them. Another woman came up with a very old teensy poodle, and said her 5 year old standard would have caused a scene so he was left home. but she loved him.

at the music store with Dad where I petted a lot of people

4. the last meeting really affected me....we were having lunch at Panera and Milo ignored his food in favor of getting a plate of sandwiches like ours. A couple walked by and stopped,  staring at him. I am training Milo to reach out to nice people by sitting and shaking paws. He went over and leaned on the woman, who melted into smiles.
Turns out, they lost their very old lasso apso a year ago and they were just emerging from mourning. We all related the loss and the need to love again. She and I were so sympatico, and conversation flowed like honey between the four of us, punctuated by Milo's antics. She is at that stage where you begin opening to the possibility of  risking loving again. I can't explain all the important topics we covered, from training a dog to the state of the world today, but it was like we knew each other.
Ever met someone who felt like that?
When they reluctantly decided to go on and let us finish lunch, she asked to hug me.
Oh!
Yes, yes of course.
When they thanked me for talking with them, I said "of course! That's what life is, these connections. The rest is just spackle" and both husband and wife grinned and agreed.
Of course I didn't have my cards on me, so I told her of my blog, as a way of continuing the contact. I hope she does contact me sometime. If not, she and her husband enriched our lives by just this meeting with them.

together tuesdays

Welcome to this week's stories of  connections made with others.

won't you come play with us?

1.I posted a list of likes last Thursday, and shared a picture of some petrified wood saying it would be a great quilt inspiration. Well a reader took me up on that, and started pulling fabrics and designing methods for an art quilt! I see it as a challenge to us both. It felt good to inspire someone else with ideas for making art. When you design your own interpretive works it expresses who you are.

We can be inspired by other people and their connection stories. I was inspired by the following posts:

2. Nancy ( at http://pugmomquilts) told how she asked for birthday cards for her Dad and he received cards from all over the world, connection many people to her life through good wishes for her Dad. She is requesting cards again... read about it here: ...90-years-young
Nancy is smart, funny, kind and artistic.

3. Shannon (at imworkingonaproject) wrote this week, about her recent holiday trip to her family's home.


Everyone in her family loves dogs, and all bring them to gatherings so that the dogs have a fun time, the adults share games and art, the kids play together. In this post she tells the poignant story of a mother dog who is trying to care for her pups but is starving herself. Shannon was ready to adopt the mama dog until her minister beat her to the punch, naming the Mama Noel. (read it here)
It was a testament to caring for others weaker than oneself, that each cookie given to Noel was then taken to her pups to keep them alive. I cried!
Are humans and other species that different? We all care for our own, but it's a sign of God's love in us when we care for others who are weaker than ourselves, like our own.
Shannon is another artistic soul, who has varied interests, is intelligent, kind, funny and thoughtful.

She and Nancy are my soul sisters and I love them. They make my life feel more connected despite the physical distance.

I've been recovering from my illness, left with little energy to go out, so do not have many contacts this week. I did run into a neighbor while walking with Milo...

4. I met and chatted with a woman who walks Chloe a rescue westie. I like her, and we enjoy each other's company when we run into each other. We do not plan visits for some reason. She asked me if I still went to the neighborhood coffee meet ups. I told her no, and why. She said, she wanted to go and seemed to be asking me to go with her.
I guess it feels more secure to go with someone you've exchanged names with than totally alone.
I would like to get to know her and her husband better anyway, as they enjoy cards and are pleasant to talk with. Chloe was distrusting of Milo for months, til on walks with her Dad, she kept meeting Milo walking with his Dad and now she runs up to him and says Hi.

Whether you're a dog or a human, it takes time to trust and get to know one another.

V-day quilt for 2018

If you have connection stories let me know and I'll link to you or tell your story if you like.
do you enjoy reading these stories?

together Tuesdays

It's Together Tuesdays, stories of connection from the week. I have a few stories from before the illness took control of my days. You know, it's true the saying, if you have your health you have everything.

1. We visited the Rocky Mountain Quilt Museum and saw the English Paper Piecing exhibit. I love EPP and was fascinated with the variety of settings shown. That post was yesterday ( see it HERE). The docent and I had a wonderful conversation. She moved her from NY state a few years ago, and is also interested in EPP. She invited me to join their group meeting at the museum. I think I might despite the long drive. I need to meet more people. Thing about meeting her, she was inclusive and open from the start... I felt at ease with her and she's open to getting to know me too. what a gift!

he'd better not chew my bones

2. I got a surprise gift from my friend yarngoddess in Texas. It was the most beautiful box, painted scene from a lake, so I put it under the tree to open Christmas day. Turns out, she was going through boxes in the house, as one does to try to let some stuff go, and came across this marionette flamingo of her daughters. She asked if it was permissible to send it to her flamingo crazy friend, and her daughter said, yes, she didn't plan on carting it around in a box for 40 years like her mom did. (ahem) the box was from special stationery used up long ago, the pretty box saved.
This story meant a lot to me. I am now connected to Diane's daughter in a way. I also keep pretty boxes and stationery for what I just don't know. It gives me pleasure but there comes a time to let go.
Now I have custody of another pretty box that will be hard to let go of!

3. Over the holiday, dh and I went to the Post Office to mail a few handmade gifts to people. Not all, I still have some to send, The line was super long, of course. I stepped in behind two interesting looking women, and then watched as another pushed her way in front of the first interesting woman who just moved aside a bit. I looked at dh and said, what's that about? he shrugged.
After all, in the scheme of things, it's not worth getting shot for.
About 10 minutes in when more people joined in behind us, and we hadn't moved an inch, the buttinski left. I asked the first woman what happened. She who was using a big cane to walk, said the person pushed in saying handicapped people can break line wherever they wanted.
Wha? She pushed in front of a woman who could barely stand in line and walked with a cane?
So now that silence was broken, we all began talking and it was somehow, a place out of time, like we'd all known each other for years. I heard the details of their lives in the next 25 minutes. I knew them in a nutshell, who they were, their fears and goals, their interests and family, their heritage and hopes.

Simply amazing. DH stood silently behind me and I suspected took a vacation in his mind while I marveled at the union of three strangers caught in a line. As conversations go, we dipped and dove from topic to topic, nodding understanding. The first woman had also lived in Baltimore, but was from the deep south and we both had people from Alabama. She looked deeply in my eyes and said she wished we'd been related. The second woman, who was much younger than us, was staying in a hotel as she had just sold her family home after her parents died. She wanted desperately to move but was now in love with  a man who had moved here and wanted to stay. She was in a hotel for the holiday and unsure how to keep her daughter in her current school, and wasn't it a miracle that her daughter went to a party and they made little Christmas trees?? They would have a tree in the room for Christmas! I felt her need for change, and sadness at selling her family home and losing her parents, the difficulty of choosing love over adventure and change.
She missed moving to the correct line to pick up mail as we were all having such a good time!

I left there kicking myself for not bringing in business cards to hand to them so we could keep in touch. I hand out cards and have never had anyone contact me though. I left gently squeezing the shoulder of the woman with a cane and exchanging wishes for a merry Christmas. (unspoken gratitude for having met each other)

All three of us said we don't understand people's reluctance to talk to each other, funny that we should all three be in line together, as we all three love the serendipity of connecting to others like that.

4. I went to a holiday office gathering of people who work with my husband. He was at the Baltimore office for so long, and was highly respected there. The move here has been a difficult adjustment, and he recently moved to this group. I learned that the leaders of the group acknowledge that people want to belong, and they make sure all the people in their group are respected and cared for.
How rare.
The boss and I talked about how work is balanced with life, and she wants her workers to be able to do their work well, but not neglect family needs.
I began to love her, and wish she taught managers how to do what she does.

I wanted to put faces to names and was excited when the boss said I could come. Turns out I was the only non employee spouse there, and one of three women, yet I felt included and one of the group.

I'm used to being mostly around women, so this was so different.
 I took two persimmons sent earlier from Susie, to share, and the two other women each got one. I learned about each person, took time to look each one in the eyes and connect. You know me... I can talk to practically anyone anytime about anything, and did.
One guy was disengaged, friendly but you know what I mean. I mentioned to another manager, that people find satisfaction at work for different reasons.... not just money but meaning, or doing something important, or being recognized, or belonging. The other guy's eyes sparkled, and he leaned in and said, variety is important! I said, oh yes, do you have that here? He responded no but he did at the last job, and told me about it.We went on to talk about his passions outside of work, and he loves movies. LOVES them. In fact he was just about to leave to go see another with his grown son.
The big boss, a woman (in engineering, its great to know women are respected) said she was leaving at the crack of dawn to fly to pick up her son at school in Texas, and the two of them were driving back to CO for the holidays. She hoped to have enough time to connect with him again while on the trip.
I met another guy who married a woman from the British Isles. I told him we mostly watch BBC productions, and that started a whole conversation about marrying into another culture. If I'd said, what do you do at this company, the conversation would have ended with one word. He was Ex-navy so we also had Annapolis to talk about.
One guy was having his hip replaced over the holidays, and jokingly asked if we wanted to see the scar. All these big strong smart men looked away and went ewww. I said, okay. He grew up in Clearwater Florida, where I used to sashay around in my bikini as a high schooler. Small world.
It was an unexpectedly fun night, and very stimulating, talking about places these men had lived, their families, their hobbies and I saw them as people not coworkers.

5. I'll stop with the conversation we shared at the Denver Museum of Science extreme sports exhibit.
A docent was silently sitting next to these when dh joked we need them to walk on the unplowed streets around us. Turns out, he was fascinating. Everyone one else just passed by him without engaging him and he was a sports medicine doctor specializing in orthapaedics.He said the invention of modern sports equipment cause more trouble as people who shouldn't be doing it, and no one should be doing it anyway, are now getting extreme injuries. He said the whole thing really started with skateboards back in the 50's and with tv shows now many people want to do crazy dangerous things like jumping off buildings. It was cool to hear his take on all this, up to his friend, another physician, who does extreme sports too!!! We don't always do what's good for us.

Anyone for a quiet walk in the woods? Meditation? Tai chi?

a final thank you to a woman who left a random comment on my post. She led me back through the web to a group of writers I want to explore this year. She would have no idea her comment could bring me such fun!
Happy new year's eve!

Linking to
all seasons

cheesy photos at ched curtain
Our World Tuesday

together tuesdays traditions and three stories

just for a laugh... oy vey!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpxYDEVIe7E&list=PLEPQby6_o7m1-wWJunTFbIqAGWOsGF60C&index=25

another form of connection involves traditions
I love traditions, from small to large.

dh and I have formed a tradition of having Thai lunch take-away on Sundays, while watching a BBC show time team. It's cozy to know we'll have a delish lunch and see an interesting show we can discuss. When we're on the road we look for Cracker Barrels because we've done it so often and it's kind of a tradition. On the week between Christmas and New years we visit museums. On birthdays we drive to a new location to see some new town. It might be hard for a newlywed to understand but traditions are built day by day, year by year and can't be rushed. They will develop.

I miss my friend Lane's house at Thanksgiving. There were 6 kids in their family and every kid brought a friend. It was happy and busy, crowded and loving. I was Lanes plus one each year, and slowly over the years began calling her parents Mom and Dad.

Some relationships develop over the years with certain people, but some involve inviting new people each year, who eventually may become old friends. It's all good.  I wish more people were inclusive with others... as a wee family of three at holidays, I miss having groups of friends who included me. Now when I invite others over they decline because they are being with "family"

Just think if they included us their experience might be richer.
I'll keep trying to create a group here but it's not happening yet.

I have very few traditions from growing up, but usually food is involved.
 I make good luck food on New Year's day... collard greens, black eyed peas, and ambrosia. Collard greens are a favorite of ours, but are labor intensive. When I wash strip veins out, and julliane the leaves, I remember seeing it done from eye level as a little girl. Then they were from the fields, and very dirty so much sink soaking was needed. My people didn't know the term jullian for bundling the leaves and thinly slicing them.

Every time I make citrus salad I remember seeing someone cutting the peel away from citrus in long spiral strips as they chatted. One after another I cut these spirals off the glistening juicy fruits before sectioning them. I learned to carefully run a knife along the section, then on the other side, flipping it into the bowl.

When I moved back from Canada as a young woman, I was recovering from Meningitis caught there, and worked in my sister's fruit business during the days. I made mountains of fruit salad and got proficient at sectioning without wasting fruit.

Ruby grapefruit, navel oranges, coconut, bananas, pineapple, and cherries. Tradition. My other sister does not like citrus, but she traditionally makes sugared pecans.

I am sentimental. I feel deeply,  and seek meaning in life. 

On Christmas I put out snowbabies with meaning for the year they were bought. Funny thing about them, my sister gave me a snowbaby one year mistakenly thinking I collected them. I didn't be that started me... last year was our first in this new home, and we went from a small bungalow in MD to this house with a two story family room, and our lighted tree was way too small and the lights all burned out, so we bought a tall artificial tree.

that may be a pig but in person it looks like a dog

That year's snowbaby was with a tree. The year before we had moved to Colorado one week before Christmas, so the snowbaby had a dog and suitcase.

Traditions are comforting, often connecting us with each other and or memories of good times. When you marry, you agree to take on/ understand the traditions of a mate, and start new ones. Like private jokes built over the years, traditions tie you to each other with little silver threads.

They add meaning to life.

This week because of Milo I met a couple who live 5 doors down from us. As we chatted we found acceptance and a bud of a friendship. I hope to see that grow this year.

This week I met DH's work group at a holiday gathering at a local pizza joint. The leader is a true leader... she is inclusive, invites others to their gatherings, she recognizes each of her worker's skills and abilities and acknowledges their worth, she understands the balance between work and family.
I chatted with all of these nice men, and will write a longer post as it touched me deeply.

This week the father of Milo's friend Bower talked to me. I mean he always chats but this week for some reason he talked about real feelings, and told me stories of times he had to make difficult decisions about rescue dogs who did not fit into their family. He said his girlfriend is moving in with two tiny dogs who might not be nice to the big 90 lb sweet natured Lab, and wondered how they would cope.
I had no real answers, but he talked about it in depth and maybe he discovered an answer while I listened. Sometimes you'll trip over an answer as you tell another of the problem.

Linking their connection stories today are:
https://stitchintherapy
https://maryinpeoriahandmade

together tuesdays #3

please enjoy the most touching rendition of this christmas song I've ever heard, while you read my words:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4fvMgNfN0I&list=RDQMs5mxXeUdfG0&index=5

So I mentioned connections between people you don't know, and connections between budding friends. This week I want to talk about connections between species...

For several dogs now, my husband will ask periodically
"what does he/she want?"
Invariably, the dog in question turns to me, looks deeply into my eyes and tries to tell me.

Most of the time my labradaughter Chelsea wanted to eat. She was a refrigerator retriever. Don't get me wrong, she liked to play too, but mostly she was hungry and enjoyed food.
Chelsea came to live with me about two years before I met my would be husband. She and I had a bond formed by us being a family of two, and by a mutual love of food and playtime. I loved her so much, and often sacrificed my own play time to spend time with her after work.

One time after we moved to Maryland,. we took a little neighborhood walk to look at Christmas lights. Chelsea was not one to lag behind but on this walk she was behind us. We lingered at one display, and when I turned to see what she was doing, Chelsea was patiently waiting to move on, but had a big complete burger in her mouth. Who knows how she managed to find a whole hamburger but she cracked me up with the bun-smile.

Cole-buddy was our first spoo (standard poodle) and he and I were bonded tightly too. He was not a snuggler like Milo is, but he wanted to know where I was at all times. We had a strong mental bond, and I felt I understood him very well. He used telepathy to send messages to me. Clearly.

Oh how I loved and still love them both. I know I will see them both in Heaven, as spirit to spirit it wouldn't be right without them. I don't know why humans think they are the only spirits that are important.

Milo's special friend, the ring toy

Milo is more chatty. He likes to bark, but his bark is often the same whether he's chasing off a dangerous mailman or welcoming a friend in to play. He communicates with touch more often.

baby Milo

He looks deeply into my eyes, more than any other dog I've known. He reads my mood better too. If he senses I am mad at him, he turns tail and heads for his kennel. If I laugh, he wags his tail happily and jumps around. He is at once a dog who circles around before lying down, and human in his ability to sense what another human needs.

Maybe because he doesn't spend time searching for the right words, he can communicate through touch easier? He likes to touch, he leans, he plops down on feet, he stands guard of me while I type. Ever patient, he's content to stand by me, with my arm draped over him. When he's had enough loving, he gently licks a hand to say he's going to go do something else now.

I have liked friend's dogs and cats over the years, but now and then there is a special bond with one. A Maryland neighbor had an eskimo named Tazzi who "roooooo-ed" every time she saw me, according to her pawrents, only me. How I loved her! She dug out of her fence and dug into ours many a time.

When Cole buddy left us for Heaven, as I walked for miles alone and mourning, orange cats took up with me. I wrote a story, I never tire reading, about them called Litter of extroverts (here) They would join me for long walks, meow loudly at me from down the street, run up and pet me. They sent a strong message of connection and that I was lovable.

I am a bit intimidated by horses, but feel a strong affinity for them. We used to walk in a neighborhood with stables, and I'd stand and watch them for a while each time. I don't know if we had a connection, but from my side, I tried to send my love to them.

Is that the answer, sending love to another? It is non verbal but when I've felt it, it's been strong and unmistakable. I suspect many humans are reluctant to put that out there for some reason.

I've met people who put out such strong messages of non verbal love that I've been drawn to them, wanting to just be around them. Haven't you? Oh I am aware that it's not just toward me, that they were just secure and kind enough to put it out there to all, still... I felt it. I felt special for the time I was in their presence.

Why do we hide that part of our natures? what do we fear in showing true love, the kind that connects us but doesn't expect anything in return? My dogs have all had that ability.

Certain dogs are even used to soothe human spirits, and certain cats know what people need. I watched a mama monkey caretaking her toddler monkey, and she put out love that the baby didn't notice.
Do we miss love sent to us sometimes too?
How do we make better connections with those around us, animal, human, nature... do you suppose if we ask the universe to help us to recognize the love sent to us through others, that we'll heal?

now, this little video is a way that one family shared their music by caroling, it's a great message.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI2c9yptr4U&list=RDQMs5mxXeUdfG0&index=30

Linking to
all seasons

cheesy photos at ched curtain

connections at a craft show

just to put you in the mood, and start you laughing....

I dare you not to laugh til your face hurts at these guys...
 US Navy singers 12 (?) days of Christmas

Yesterday at the craft show, two people came up with little baby girls, so sweet, and Milo sat while tiny star hands petted his head.


when we walked into the venue, I spied the one baby smile and call out to Milo, so when her Mom approached, I said, that baby is so happy. The mama smiled an adult version of the baby's smile, bent down and a little hand reached out to feel Milo's head.

Milo sat down and sent his poodle love to the baby. Then the second parent, a dad this time came over saying, "well if it's going to be a love fest..." and squatted down to let his little girl reach out too.

I almost sighed at the sweetness of the image. Both babies squealing... quiet, still Milo looking into their eyes, two parents who loved their babies, and me watching the moment.

tiny star shaped hands softly feeling Milo's hair, the connection was so real and momentary but the mental picture will linger in my mind.

Many people walked by and silently let their hands pass over Milo as we walked. Several came up and told us of their standard poodles over the years. One red haired college student bent over and scratched Milo roughly. He pushed up against her in a poodle lean, leaning into the love. Her bright red hair draped over his black back like a curtain to allow their private moment together. She smiled broadly when she left and said she knew how to scratch a dog!

As we looked at hand made items, I spied a booth sign with a flamingo on it... well you know how I am about flamingos. I commented and the artist jumped up smiling widely to find a fellow admirer. We laughed, I asked how her obsession started, "well...I've been obsessed since childhood" she said. I told her I started as a teen, and asked where she grew up... and was surprised it was nearby Arvada. I said, I caught the bug back in Florida. So way up in the mountains, was a young girl who also loved the graceful pinkness of a flamingo! She said she was so happy to meet fellow flamingo lover!

We tasted many pickles and relishes at one booth. I pass many tasting booths, but this one had piccalilly  and it brought back memories of smelling that when my mother canned it each year. We decided to buy four bottles of different relishes, pickled green beans, etc. As the maker was beautifully packaging them I mentioned the thick snow coming down outside, and concern over our drive home. She said, well if you have to pull over at least you can survive on pickles!
We laughed, and she added, "make sure to let me know if that happens!" and I thought that would be a great marketing story.
"Stranded motorists saved by pickles, story at 11!"

Of all the jewelry, paintings, dog clothes, people clothes, and gifts we saw, those pickles were the only thing we left with!

We drove up to meet my long time friend Mary and her new doodle puppy Turbo, before going to the show.
At first Milo was not sure, didn't trust Turbo since he hasn't had his neutering yet, but three snarls later as we walked together (thanks Cesar Milan for letting me know about the pack walking thing) they began to play. Turbo wasn't sure at first as Milo is twice his size, but they ran and jumped, Turbo flashed his sharp new teeth, as they played puppy games like "bump chest" and 'my teeth are bigger" and "try to get me" Milo layed down to be face to face, and at one point Turbo leapt over him.

Sometimes friends need a moment to size each other up, and sense whether the other one is trustworthy before jumping into play time. Same with humans.

Mary and I have a long history of playing together, sewing, making art, going places. It's good to know our pups will get along too.

Together Tuesdays

Last week I talked about connections with strangers, this week I am sharing connections that grow between friends.

 I met Rose when I risked joining yet another group.

I had to give up sewing groups each time I moved, and so I tried one here. That one did not work out... too many of the women were rude and rejecting. I worried that would be the way it was here so it felt like  a risk to meet another group.
Anytime you meet someone it comes with a slight risk.

Three connections to chat about this week:

Rose and I were drawn to each other from the start, I'm sure you know that feeling.
Some back story...
My new group is small, about 8 women, but there was one person who threatened to break up the group before it got going.
That's the way human groups are, it takes one personality to sour the entire group. Polite people give up in the face of a difficult person who knows it all, and talks over others.

 The leader asked another member if she was willing to talk to the rude person about the problems.
The person decided to drop out. Because a tactful person took this role, the others in the group were then able to have meaningful experiences together, as the remaining women are respectful, kind, and encouraging.

What a life lesson to me.
Everyone deserves respect, but not everyone can work in every group.
We all would have missed out on a very nice group if we had let one particular person run over us.
And it was handled with kindness and respect for the offending person too.

Back to Rose. A gentle soul, a creative person who expresses herself in gentle works. She is trained as a fine artist, and her paintings find their way into her fiber work. She likes deconstructed representational quilts, with birds and human figures.
The images are blurred slightly, blending in soft color, abstract enough to lead your eye to telling the story yourself. Her intent is to quietly show that we may fray around our edges but we are still recognizable. She believes in the dignity of living creatures and nature.
I trust her.

to have a real friend, there must be trust. Trust that they come from a place of grace toward me and others. We may joke and do... humor is a big part of my life, but not at the expense of others.
There is plenty to joke about without hurting someone else, that's not really humor anyway. Making someone the butt of a joke is aggressive even if you call it joking.  It stops real connection. None of my real friends do that to each other.

Rose and I have begun doing things together outside the group, which allows us to risk being open and real with our feelings, building a friendship, a soft place to be. Our talk is about our real lives and experiences, and with her it's easy.

Last week,  we toured an art exhibit, where we could discuss each piece and our reactions to it.
Hearing another person's opinions is expansive to me, I learn and grow from it. I feel people can harden inside thinking their opinions are the only valid ones.

By sharing our opinions and reactions, and by accepting that opinions differ from ours, we grow. We may decide why we will continue to see things our way, or we might change slightly to include an idea we had not considered before.

Because we decided to trust each other, we learn about ourselves too. Our friendship is growing.

2. A second connection was with a library representative. In an annoying fashion, my password ceased working out of the blue. I called a representative hoping to correct the issue.

We did that dance of info, where I say that this happened 'out of the blue',  the rep says it couldn't have and doesn't make sense, then I say well it did happen, and she says, "well, ma'am..." and I say, "but it happened... how did it happen, did someone breach the database? She said, "there's nothing sinister that could have happened. I say, well it happened, and I can't request books now. (take a breath) A few moments go by

Then in a flash of insight, she asked, "did you request an inter-library loan this week"
me: "why yes I did. It went through, then I got notice it didn't go through, to ask for a librarian's help so I did and she made it work"

Rep: "ahhhhhh she must have used your phone for your password,  like most people do"
me: " but she didn't ask and I don't use those digits. Did she change my password?"
Rep: "yes"
Me: "can you change it back to the one I had?"
Rep: "sure" "just a minute"
So she changed it back. Mind you, the first one changed it without asking me, wasting a lot of time  sorting this out, and the second one "ma'am-d" me which sets me off, but... it finally was sorted out and I thanked her for finding the answer so I could relax and actually go back to using the system.
Nothing to do but just move on, she won't train the first person not to do that again, this could likely happen to me or others again, it was annoying and time consuming but... it's cleared up.
Next time, could we skip the patronizing, "ma'am..." -with-sigh at my bothering-her part?

Let me just say, I could easily have lost what little patience I have left, but I didn't this time.
I didn't respond to the patronizing tone, or the dismissive words, I slogged through repeating my words that were ignored the first time.

Some connections are not fun, but are productive.
I left the encounter with a grateful thank-you, hoping the next encounter she had would go easier on the people she helped. We have the choice with each connection, to make it smoother or rougher. We can react and say we're justified, and we are, or we can choose to leave content rather than prove we were right.  Just like in marriages.

number three this week happened on a neighborhood walk. I passed a woman who asked if I had a phone with me. I had met and chatted with her on a prior walk, just once but it was a pleasant exchange. Because we had met, she shared she locked herself out  of the house. The dog and two cats were watching her from the back door. When she went out, the door brace fell across the back slider and she was stuck.
Because we had met, she felt comfortable with me. I did not have my phone, as I do not want distractions when on a walk, from the peace. I asked what she would do, willing to have her walk home with me to call her husband to come with a key. She laughed and said she'd go next door and ask that neighbor to call.
It's good to know people in your neighborhood.

Milo just reminded me to tell you about seeing his friend Gunner. Gunner is about 8 months old, and a great dane. Last time Milo saw/played with him Gunner was Milo's size, and two nights ago, we saw gunner, now at 108 lbs he's twice Milo's size and Milo was shocked.
Gunner: " Hey buddy, it's still me!"
Milo: "are you sure? I mean you smell like you but sheesh! what happened to you, dog?"
Gunner: "I don't know.... I trip over my own legs!. But I'd still like to play sometime... have your peeps call my peeps!"
Milo: "er, maybe you should learn to control those long legs first? And maybe get the big boy surgery? I don't always trust boys who haven't had their surgery"
Gunner: "what are you talking about?"
Milo: "never mind" "bark at you later"

I wrote a bonus post on connection stories on Monday Here
If you write a post about a connection you made, good or bad, with anyone of your choice, let me know to include a link.

as always...
there is a moment in the day when you make a choice to connect with another person, or walk by.

I say, make more moments ones of connection than of isolation. They might last only a moment, but wouldn't you rather walk away smiling than not?

If you have a story of a momentary connection with others, I'd love to hear about it. Write a little post and I'll link to your blog. I'm planning on doing this each Tuesday. "Reach out and Touch-Tuesdays.

Linking to

cheesy photos at ched curtain

https://comedy-plus.wordless wednesday

what do you do? more stories of connecting with others

a common question when meeting someone at a party is "what do you do?"
This ranks right down there with strangers who pass you on the street and ask
"how are you?" in a cheerful voice as they continue walking.

what do people really want to know?
will I pass or fail depending on my answer? 
why is it so tiresome to me to deal with little social amenities like asking after my well being while not caring about it?

Try telling someone the true sorry tale of how you "are" and watch as they squirm, start to look away or worse, at their watch or phone. It's not comfortable.

Back to the question of "doing"
I realize most people ask this because they don't know what else to say to connect to you, or they think by knowing your occupation, they know who you are.
For example (I worked in a school for a while...)

They may even decide right then and there that your job of say, teaching, means you are intelligent since you need a degree from university, but that you settle for a lower paying job so maybe you're not their kind of go-getter.
Or they may  look up to you since they were not financially able to go to uni. They may hate you since they never did well in school, or their disgusting uncle john was a teacher and they hated him. They may see you as a sounding board for their platform on education reform, or increasingly in today's political atmosphere, a drain on taxes since they don't truly believe in education. (don't get me started) (they don't even teach how to write nowadays)

Anyway, your answer will cause a reaction of sorts, quickly followed by judgement of your entire life.
oy vey

What if we were prepared with an answer to the question, what do you do...
...when you have free time
...for a hobby
...for others
...when confronted with bullying
...to sleep better at night
...with your savings
...to find peace inside

What if you answer, tongue in cheek, to the  question: "what do you do (implied, for a living)" with,  I sit around watching mindless tv and doing sudoku puzzles while ignoring what my spouse is saying.
Then smile.
what fun to see that reaction!
uh oh
There may follow an uncomfortable silence, looking at a watch or around the room, and moving on to someone who knows how to play the surface game of get- to- know- you.

As a young woman, I used to answer the question with, "I'm a dancer on Broadway, but now it's off-off-OFF Broadway, and then I smiled.
Only the very interesting people hung around after that...
mission accomplished.
After all, how boring to say, I'm a social worker, dealing with abuse and neglect cases. I knew no one  wanted to admit that happens in real life so, they put me in a box with other do-gooders who made little money. They made an assumption about who I was, and that was that.
There was so much more to me...
I was a social worker, by day, and by night I danced off-off-OFF Broadway in shows, and volunteered for charity events, I was an artist who painted and quilted, I loved my dog and walked miles a day, I made crepes for dinner on my electric crepe maker, I read books and thought great thoughts, and wanted more from life. I strove to be honest and the best person I could be.

what do you do?
better question at a party, what do you want to do but haven't yet?

so my suggestion is to stop asking questions you don't want the answers to.... and start conversations that really bring about connecting with someone you just might really like.

a quick story... dh and I had just left an embassy hop in DC where we watched a tango trio play in the Argentine embassy. We stopped at Dupont circle and sat on a bench to watch people at play.

A group of three tall young men sidled up to our bench, pants drooping down thin waists, dark skinned with frowns on their faces. We are middle aged light skinned professional people on the surface.
 On the surface, this was a chance to be real with another person.
I turned to the one who sat closely to me, and smiled, and said something. Now, I can't remember what, but somehow the two of us ended up talking about writing the great American novel.

He admired a certain author, and wanted to write like that, and this young man wrote every night at his kitchen table after work. I didn't ask what job he did. I said I too wrote at the kitchen table, and wanted to write a novel.
We watched the kids splashing in the fountain, men playing chess at concrete tables, and couples making out on the grass.
His friends walked off. He and I had a wonderful conversation and it changed me. I often wonder if he remembers the moment when two people who seemed to have little in common, talked excitedly about shared goals? I remember it well.

together tuesdays

I love a good story, don't you?

I'm starting a new series,  stories of connection.
It's important  to work and live together in harmony.

I think most people have a story and we only have to listen to share in it.
And... let them know they are accepted and valuable.

Inspirational quote: There’s the whole world at your feet. 
Mary Poppins

These are stories I heard last week:

We met a couple near our age, at Barnes and Noble. We were looking through magazines and Milo was looking at people around us. A couple stopped and smiled at him, and he pulled to get to them.

It started a very nice conversation, and we have a lot in common despite growing up in different places and times. They moved here from NM 15 years ago and live about 10 miles from us. They have a one year old black golden doodle who looks like a stockier, hairier version of Milo. We talked about dogs and grooming, training and personalities. We talked about New Mexico, and about the east coast including Lake Placid, about places we've loved.
We talked about what makes for a happy living environment.

They said they lived in a nice neighborhood when they first moved to colorado but the people were not friendly or gracious.
They were not mean, they just saw no value in knowing each other.
Now they live in a neighborhood where people talk to each other, and life improved for them. They live in a small home with a tiny yard but they like it more. (And it's plowed, just sayin')

Milo leaned against their legs, had to jump up to see into their eyes (he very seldom jumps up) and licked their hands. We must have chatted for 25 minutes or so, like old friends.
I began to wonder if we might form a friendship with them, but its not easy to do with adults. I gave the wife my card, and asked several times for her to call to set up visits and playdates. She sounded very happy about it, so I hope she calls. It's not easy to ask for someone's number as strangers, to trust your information will be safe in their hands, and I wish it was easier.

After that we met a very different couple at Home Depot, again initiated by Milo but a result of my willingness to talk. A woman was unsteady on her feet and had just crashed a very crowded cart into a display. She didn't look like someone I'd normally be drawn to... this is important.

I might not think on the surface, that we'd have anything to talk about, but she smiled at Milo who licked her hand, and told me about her rescue Grand Pyranese/shepherd mix who was her service dog. He wasn't there but she was so grateful for his loving nature, and proud of his old age of 11, and she liked Milo.
That's endearing.
We shared our love of dogs and shook our heads at the people who abused her dog before she adopted him. She told me about a recent surgery he had, and that the vet said whatever she fed him was working. I asked about the food, as one does, and they buy a big bag of generic dog food at the farm supply store near them, describing it as generic 'science diet' equivalent.
The husbands joined us and the four of us found common ground in love. Can't ask for much more than that on a trip to home depot.

As my husband was checking us out, Milo was drawn to two workers in orange vests. Over and over, he couldn't leave them alone. One shrugged him off and walked away. One of them smiled down at my pup who looks deeply into one's eyes, and he said, "I'll get you a vest if you want to stay here!!"
I looked at this 18 year old young man and smiled at his kindness to my pup. It was a short encounter, but each encounter that ends with a smile is a good thing, right?
(Milo gave his hand one more lick and wagged his tail on the way out)

Last weekend, we walked around a shopping area of Loveland. In one store, the kind where people share retail space,  a woman sat selling jewelry. She reached out to Milo, and he rushed to her, snuggling right up to her legs.
She looked up at us, and said she her dog just passed away that week. She said she cried so much she had no more tears to cry, and petted Milo's soft head as she spoke. She was very open about her sorrow, and I was open with her about my loss of Chelsea and Cole-buddy. We both knew what pain felt like, and loss.
 We knew we had no choice but to go on while missing the closeness we lost.
 She was so sweet, then offered for us to take a free jar of jelly. Jelly she made at home, and wanted to give us. I think she was so happy to have shared a moment with us, she wanted to give us something in return.

She didn't know that her openness about real feelings was the gift I most need. Touching someone's heart out of kindness, person to person sharing what's real in life, was the real gift to me. Not feeling alone for a moment was the perfect gift.

While at that store,  we also chatted with a woman who came in with a chihuahua in a sweater. She said he was the greeter at the BMW dealership near her. He had a lovely spirit, and he and Milo quickly assessed each other and began to inspect the store together. Since we were the only ones in there, along with the jeweler, we let them, and we 5 chatted.
She had met the jeweler at an event, where the jeweler bought her a glass of wine!
(and that's how connections can be made) (her husband stood by silently while we all chatted)

I learned this woman was about to do a show, she was a singer and a comedian. I asked what started her on the road to comedy??? (She looked, on the surface, like a plain person of a certain age, the kind most people ignore these days) If we hadn't shared who we were I'd never have known she spends her life seeking humor and connections.

After all, comedians are all about connecting with others, finding what brings joy to people and giving it to them. Laughing about the silly bits of life together for a show. She told me her parents encouraged the arts, and writing, and accepted what she wanted to do in life. A good start. We talked a while about her life's journey as the dogs enjoyed each other's company.

In another store, a young clerk looked longingly at Milo and shared she was allergic to dogs but loved them. I didn't know I had much in common with a 20-something woman raised in colorado but I love cats and am allergic to them... I told her,  I got it. Another clerk came up and almost took Milo from us, so smitten with him was she.

there is a moment in the day when you make a choice to connect with another person, or walk by.

I say, make more moments ones of connection than of isolation. They might last only a moment, but wouldn't you rather walk away smiling than not?

If you have a story of a momentary connection with others, I'd love to hear about it. Write a little post and I'll link to your blog. I'm planning on doing this each Tuesday. "Reach out and Touch-Tuesdays.

Love, LeeAnna

Linking to
all seasons

https://comedy-plus.wordless wednesday