Thursday, November 21, 2024

I Like Thursday # 427 saying goodbye


 



this song says so much...  (I would give everything I own to have you back)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlOwOFJJ-RI


My beautiful boy... is gone. 
we took him to the ER Vet last Friday hoping for an iv and some meds.
 It all happened so quickly and I'm still in shock. just two weeks ago he was still playing running and eating.

We had tried to entice him to eat  but he wouldn't even lick almond butter off a pill. He drank bowls and bowls of water and it poured out of him.  


 The ERvet said he was not processing his water, so he was dehydrated. Then the sonogram  showed prostate cancer that had spread to bladder and small intestine and maybe his leg,  causing the limp that developed one week earlier.
 It was a very aggressive cancer in dogs, you can't do surgery, and chemo and radiation might buy you 3-6 months before it returns after treatment.  He had three obvious tumors in three organs, one was pushing on his urethra so his bladder might burst at any moment.

he continued to refuse all food even beef broth on our fingers. We brought him home for one more night.  he's just 7 I said. Don't take him from me. 
 
He had lost 14 lbs out of 70,mostly in the last two weeks.  
Saturday afternoon, the mobile vet to administer the euthanasia on the back porch, we knew what we must do but were still in disbelief. 
 he died Sat afternoon , leaving me without my comfort and soul companion, taking all joy from the house. I have to live with the guilt of not catching it sooner although all reports say it wouldn't matter for life expectancy. No good treatment here

he was only 7, I expected him to live to 14. Less than 24 hours after finding out he had cancer he was  gone. Now it's just cleaning up, throwing out the bedding he peed on the last 5 days, throwing out medicine, toys food and looking at the Christmas toys I bought to give this year.

it's empty in our home now.

I researched cancer in dogs and saw a recent finding (May 2024) was to stop giving tap water to dogs and cats. The fluoride is causing bladder cancer.  We gave him filtered water the last year or so not even knowing the findings.   

my chiropractor said, (I had to go in this week from lifting him so much),

 I must try to be grateful for having him the last 7 years, and no time is long enough with those you love

I'm trying. 
I'm grateful I had the last night and he didn't die at the ER. I'm grateful for the hour we spent on the couch together the last day. I'm grateful for that final walk through the neighborhood and Milo pulled ahead a bit, sniffing.

he cannot be replaced, he was the smart and perceptive, the funniest, the most protective to the end (our last walk he warned me someone was coming up behind us) the cuddliest, the kindest, and best for me. I cry all the time. 

I hope to write his stories. I hope to write some memories here of his antics, we've been remembering his stories the last 5 days since the unbelievable happened. I want to honor him. 

He used to know when it was time to remove baked goods from the oven, come to stand next to me in the kitchen, if daddy came over Milo quietly stepped in front of the daddy and looked up at me. 
" do I get a piece?"  He loved his cookies!

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Thursday, November 14, 2024

I ike Thursday # 426

 

I won't mislead you, I have very little gratitude in my heart, it's been replaced by despondency for my country. I will try to share some of the week with you, I need companionship, I feel frightened all the time. 

We got two snow alerts that came to nothing. The third was for 3" and the surprise was it lasted 4 days leaving totals here near the 20" mark, or with a bit of melt, half a standard poodle high. 

DH shoveled a path for the poor boy who is not able to step on his left back leg. Then two hours later there is 3-4" in the path. Out he went to shovel that off. Why couldn't the weather people warn us this would be a 4 day event with feet of snow? 

I couldn't focus, so I turned to medicinal sewing... two pre cut packs (bought on sale.) For the non sewing people here, that means a designer's line of fabric is cut into 5" squares with about 42 in the pack. I had two of this line and just started arranging them on the design wall

I wanted to just sew squares into groups then rows then a top. I have now finished the top with a black multi colored border fabric and am layering that with backing fabric and cotton batting and plan to quilt it simply. It's my mourning quilt and I don't like it much. I will finish it and use it to huddle under. It's about 44" X 56" now. It reminds me in looks of my granny's utility quilts so I wrote a story about my connection to her, read it here


I watch a tv show called crime scene kitchen. Couples compete to see who comes closest to figuring out the clues to the item baked, then bake their own. I looked at our counter as we finished up baking this week... know what we made? clue that's cinnamon sugar in the measuring cup, a buttered loaf pan, bowl of cream, rolling pin and mat coated in flour. 
(cinnamon bread loaf)

I tried to make tortillas with sweet potatoes and lentil flour... big fail so I actually threw them away
I never throw away food if I can help it but they were bitter. I can't take bitter at the moment.

what is your favorite Fall movie? I need diversions.... 
I love "when Harry met Sally" and there is a lot of Fall footage in it


Milo is very very poorly.
 We gave him the rimadyl (antiinflammatory) for 2 1/2 days and he stopped drinking. Nothing could persuade him to drink, I tried pouring teaspoons of water in his mouth and he turned his head. He ate very little. 
We stopped the pills but not before he developed a urinary tract infection, so he's on antibiotics. He wont eat anything even cookies. 
The vet ordered nausea pills and heavy pain meds today.  He began drinking again which means he pours out urine wherever he lies, and goes out to pee 10 drops 10 times about every 2 hours. 
I'm worn out of washing our bedding despite diapers, and it's been three days on antibiotics. 
our traveling vet said we have to go to some brick and morter vet office for sonograms and diagnosis. 

Our family unit is the three of us, I despair of losing Milo. 

just to keep it Thursday, I like my poodle son, I love him. 

Lovely

this artist sings so beautifully, and I have sung this song countless times in my life... she shares my name too altho spelled differently. It made me cry for the times I believed in my country as so secure. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyRMD0ZXW68 

Videos of interest

broccoli cheese soup with cannoli beans

https://scratchmadefoodforhungrypeople.blogspot.com/2020/07/broccoli-or-any-vegetable-and-cheddar.html 

made it and it was good


Make art with Christmas cookies? 

I will not go to these extremes but it was VERY fun to watch and I see using some techniques in a more simple way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9BQ0KzlwYU 

just sayin'

interesting that republicans have argued for the last 5 or so years that the voting system was broken... til suddenly when they "won" they immediately shut up about it. He said he didn't need votes to win. 15 million votes have disappeared, how would a Harris voter know if their vote was counted or made to disappear like he promised when he said he had people in place to remove votes. Le Petit Roi. 


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Saturday, November 9, 2024

Using creative time to feel normal... quilting, painting, memories of a granny

 

I finished the golden circle this week, and here's a photo of it with the other warm colors. I took this to show the difference between the yellow and gold. 

In doing the rsc this year, I picked my last 4 colors to use, since I wanted 12 blocks for my quilt. I love quilt making for the pattern, color and lines. 

The more the merrier says I, so I adore scrap quilts.

Being a painter, I'm used to mixing colors, seeing what colors come from different proportions. I think our eyes blend color which is why pointillism interests me

I approach paintings/drawings/ and quilt making differently although each relies on the same principles of art. 
(thank you for allowing me to talk about something familiar and safe for a moment, carrying me out of the constant worry about the future in America) 

I sewed the half hexies in red to the edge of this little piece by the end of the week because well you have to do something during sit and stare time

I sat and basted the center hexies on a plane ride home from the Houston show one year. It was the year I met my good friend I called "plane-mate-Pat. We sat next to each other and didn't stop chatting the whole ride, kept up with each other in Maryland after that, and became close over the years. 
She's in Heaven now, her breast cancer treatments changed her body, her meds for arthritis reduced her resistance, and she died from what started as a cold. She was such a good person. So I put the hexies away for years and recently pulled them out to sew. 

(Pat's laughing from Heaven) 

I added in the half hexies instead of sewing it to a base fabric. Why? more sewing time to handle it and think of the next step, what to add and how to quilt it.

While mindlessly wandering around the house I spied two packages of pre-cut 5" squares bought on a big sale. I thought, I will just sew them together without too much thought. I put them in mesh bags to wash (yep even precuts get washed here, as I don't need a chemically induced migraine too.

to get to know the patterns I laid them out on the cutting table in groups and thought, wow, meh. Bland. 
perfect for who cares sewing. 
I fleetingly thought of doing more, like 9 patches

but there are 80-ish squares and this won't add up to a lap quilt shape. Plus I don't like it.
I considered 4 patches but those would probably require setting strips to set them off. 

My ribs will not allow me to use a rotary cutter lately, and I don't see the chiro for 10 days

DH is not good at cutting strips for me to use. He's willing but not so able, I think it's his eyes and reluctance to be good at something he doesn't want to do, LOL

Before I stopped for the night I put all squares up on the design wall. I sort of arranged them to give me some order. Stepping back I thought... meh.   The line if from leslie riley, and it doesn't excite me
the graphics are odd when cut in squares and I wonder if I'd like the fabric as a whole? 
It does look better in a photo.  Maybe I'll tweak it by forming more 4 patches with the only bold color, brick red. 


That picture reminds me of Granny...

My granny made quilts from old clothing. She figured out ways to put color and pattern together. An early memory was of standing by her rocking chair and watching her hand stitch squares and sometimes sewing odd shapes to ripped out pages of the old phone book, early paper piecing. She must have gotten tired of me hovering, so she put me to her mother's treadle machine and gave me my own ugly squares and showed me how to stitch a straight line, then went back to her chair.

I was surprised to be handed the keys to the quilting kingdom then left  alone. What power! I spent time planning and learned to control that machine, my long legs were able to set a rhythm and my little head bent over the throat plate watching the needle go up and down. 
It had a certain smell, as did those old patches, but it was mine. Granny left me that precious machine when she passed. I have it still after so many moves. 

It represents so much. 
The connection between an older woman and her adopted grand daughter
The start of a lifetime love of fabric
The joy of controlling a powerful machine to make my art
A tentative connection between Granny's mother who ordered the treadle by mail in the 1800's, to a rural farm in Alabama, and me. What was she like? I assume it cost a lot for her, and she made clothing for she and her daughter (granny) I wish I'd known questions to ask before Granny moved up to Heaven
It was the start of independent art making for me, making decisions and seeing the outcome. 
An initiation into the world of being able to make clothing and quilts unique to me. 

A child who was so beaten down by authoritative parents who took all decisions from her, who controlled even her body, could see a place to go to express herself safely. 

Changing the subject.... painting 
here are some paintings done last month

before doing an art lesson I like to draw and sometimes paint the teachers, in my sketchbook

Iris painted with watercolor on the left, and gouache on the right. Raw, quick, impressions. Free

there are a few more I haven't shared that I think I'll put on an I Like post next week. If ... 

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Thursday, November 7, 2024

I don't like Thursday

 I cannot feel one ounce of gratitude this week, sorry. 

I don't know how much anxiety one woman can carry

 Oh I'm not alone, 67+ million Americans are in shock over the issues

I'm in shock wondering how to handle our money if a president is allowed to do whatever he wants guaranteed by supreme court. It's the end of law and order if a president is allowed to break the laws of our land and not be accountable.

I assume my rights as a woman will be revoked as I heard republican congressmen last week, saying that should happen. It's certainly on their plan written out in 904 pages in project 25. 

the plan is likely to take away everyone's vote along with the constitution and our rights  

under Biden's policies our economy flourished and recovered, infrastructure was rebuilt, our Soc. Sec. and medical care continued,  unemployment and crime hit a new low, new businesses were started, and a border plan was developed agreed upon by both parties til.... the head of the republican party ended because it would hurt his campaign, then he blamed that on vice president Harris in his ads.  

Milo seems to have torn the ACL to some degree and isn't functioning. The vet said rimadyl and rest for up to 6 weeks to see if it heals or needs surgery and we ordered the meds that chewy messed up the order. 

The weather report has gone from 80s to snow for 4 days in a row. Predictions change daily so no one really knows. DH has been shoveling an area for Milo to go out, but he can't squat easily because of the pain.

I've been beaten down with nowhere to turn and in shock.


the links for others who may have a post today

 http://3poodlesandanana.blogspot.com/

https://canadianneedlenana.blogspot.com/ 

https://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/

 

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Saturday, November 2, 2024

creative time this week embroidery finished, quilting and painting

8" X 10" 
Here we are again, a round-up of some of my art work for the week. I am a creative sort, and love to write, paint, draw, quilt, embroider and bead.
I also love to crochet and found a project that uses up little bits of leftover yarn so I hope to explore that next week.
I got out beads, sequins and actual rocks with holed drilled in them, and embellished this flower. Bugle beads that are copper iridescent went around the center and stem, gutterman flower sequins were added with seed beads. I used seed beads to form little flowers above the ones on the left, added seed beads along the imaginary growing weed at the top. 


I enjoyed every bit of this tiny piece from the applique, to hand stitching, french knots, beads and rocks at the bottom.  I chose to sew the backing on around three sides leaving the bottom open. turned it put in two layers of stiff peltex then turned the bottom edges in and did a ladder stitch to close the opening
since it's not over til you're done... and I thought I might want a bit more... some embroidery floss grass over the join at the bottom, tall and short stitches, some with a flower sequin on it would really finish it in style! For now it's sitting on the easel in the front hall.

It was started on a whim, to just sew something. 

I started the RSC block for November, the EPP circle, in my color choice of the month. Gold. 
The RSC leader Angela left the last months of the year our choice to finish our projects. I wanted 12 blocks so my quilt wouldn't be square so this month for me is gold. For the golden leaves I see right now! But I didn't realize gold would be kind of hard with fabric. 


Is is gold? yellow? orange? tan? I did okay making the coffin shape choices but the hexies that go around is hard so I pulled some choices with the theme of dots. All my blocks have dots on the outside hexies... 



How would I mix gold on the palette of paint? yellow + brown+ orange? Now that I have some, I'd use the quinacridome gold from Danielle smith! 
speaking of paintings

Nina Rycroft shared a 4 lesson watercolor workshop for free online. I learned things like making wet on wet free form flowers

making characters, and other wonderful things. This is my version of alice and I like her face so much with so little pencil before, mostly shading
I love how the pink flowers look, just take a brush with pink, smear it onto the wet paper. 
I lost control of the paint over the cat's mouth, so had to fill in with some ink, don't love that in these pics but in real life it's cool and DH commented on how 3-d the cat looks in person. 
did I mean to do that he asked? 

a few sketchbook pages from last month: 





gesture drawing where you don't lift your pen for the sketch
linking to

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